


The many stages of accepting yourself

by TammieSheep



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Anxious Oowada Mondo, M/M, Tags May Change, They/Them Pronouns for Fujisaki Chihiro, idk how long this will be, when i say mondo will be a simp i mean that mondo will be bisexual panic intensifies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:16:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28660842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TammieSheep/pseuds/TammieSheep
Summary: Mondo Owada for sure was someone that attracted all sort of negative looks, and he would always stare them down with sheer anger and strength. But even he wasn’t immune to his bro and best friend, Kiyotaka Ishimaru, and that included his trademark stares of disappointment… but there wasn’t anything weird or wrong or different with him because of that! Or about the many other things were different when it came to his bro! It was all part of their brotherhood!Hah!That’s what he said.
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 14
Kudos: 63





	The many stages of accepting yourself

**Author's Note:**

> This work exists mostly thanks to two friends who I had great talks about Mondo losing his braincells when it comes to his great amazing beautiful bro Kiyotaka! (Hi Andy! Hi Max! Thank you for the very nice conversations that gave me many ideas!), and also thanks to one artist that drew Mondo being the Simp a few times and it made me extra inspired (Hi sanseru! Her art is amazing, y'all should check it!)  
> Edit: Changed all the dashes to quote marks. Should be easier to read!

Mondo Owada was many things.

He was strong. He was big. He was the leader of the biggest biker gang in the entire Japan, so he had some serious balls of steel. If he wanted something really badly, he should just _take it,_ and everything else be damned.

So why exactly was he feeling _bad_ about his bro looking disappointed at him for skipping class?

He was a _bosozoku_ , for crying out loud… being against rules was part of him. Mondo wouldn’t give a flying fuck if anyone else chewed on him for skipping one class, even less considering Ultimates didn’t even have to attend most classes anyway! Skipping was allowed!

But Kiyotaka thought otherwise. And those expressive red eyes said much about how he felt about his best friend skipping. Just like everything else about him.

“Mondo, I expected more from you! Your attendance last week was going so well, with barely no classes being skipped…for you to skip _an entire day pretending you were sick?”_ Taka had his arms crossed against his chest and the usually permanent frown on his face got even stronger; a true miracle “You lied to me!”

“Look, man…”

If it was anyone else, Mondo would laugh and cuss them out. Probably punch their teeth out and leave. But instead, Mondo felt like absolute trash for disappointing the man in front of him. He _lied_ to him and made him get upset about it. Why did he get out of his room after class, knowing if he tried to wander around _any_ facility of the school, someone would either mention it to Taka or the man himself would find him?

No, why did he even lie to begin with?

“I’m sorry, ok?” Mondo tried to placate his friend, nervous about the whole deal “I was feeling lazy, so I really wanted to stay in… the whole day…”

The more he said, the worse Kiyotaka’s expression got.

“I’m not helping my case, right?”

“Of course not!” now if anything, the monitor looked even _more_ annoyed and disappointed. Aw, shit! “Now you must have detention for skipping the entire day!”

And here came the detention slip. It was just a piece of paper saying how much time he would have to spend at detention, but for some reason, it felt so much heavier, he wanted to get rid of it but that would only make his personal weight feel worse…

“I’m sorry, Taka, I’ll come to detention and won’t lie again like that…” for some reason, Mondo couldn’t hold a stare at his bro, absolutely ashamed in so many ways. He was Mondo Owada! Why couldn’t he brush it all off? Why did he say he wouldn’t lie again? He probably would!

“… then I will believe in you, bro. I shall wait for you at detention, as the one who will overlook it!” Taka said, his face getting if only _a tiny bit_ softer, as he accepted the deal and didn’t question Mondo’s integrity at all. That only made him feel worse… now he couldn’t lie like that again or he would feel like garbage.

“I just dug my own hole deeper…” Mondo sighed to himself, as he saw Kiyotaka leave with such confidence about what Mondo promised.

Well shit.

And as time passed, he saw himself going to the detention room on time, as Chihiro trailed with him despite having no detention at all.

“Maybe detention won’t be so bad…” Chihiro said as they tried (and failed) to cheer Mondo up a little at least. Mondo couldn’t blame them for failing, his mood was way down to the ground to see a ray of hope on his predicament “I think Leon will also be on detention today for skipping his training for the third time on the week…”

“And why the fuck should that make it better? Ugh” the biker grumbled, still annoyed. Poor Leon had no fault on it, but his presence wasn’t a good consolation prize at all.

“Well… maybe you two can enjoy the other’s misery?” the smaller one looked really uncertain about it, but at least it got a short laugh from the other.

“Yeah, yeah, sure. You sure you wanna wait until I’m done?”

“Yes! We could get some exercise done later as well!”

And with that settled, Mondo went into the detention room alone, seeing that he was the first one to arrive— except Taka, of course. No Leon to share pain and suffering yet… not like Leon would share his regrets, probably…

“Welcome, bro!” Kiyotaka said, absolutely serious about it. _What a welcome_ , a serious face and no smile at all. It was a face that meant business and Mondo could only feel his stomach try to tear itself apart upon seeing it “Sit down for now, I shall give you an assignment soon!”

“Uh, thanks…” and so with the world’s most disappointed “thanks” ever said, Mondo sat down and waited for something. Anything. Even his well-deserved award for that sad attempt of showing non-existent gratitude!

But nothing came. At least not until Leon came with an annoyed look.

“Very well. You did good, sparing me the trouble of going to find you this time” Kiyotaka sighed, finally getting up from his seat to hand a set of assignments to both boys “I expect both of you to finish this. It won’t be graded, of course, but it will count as extra points on your record for attending detention properly.”

“Damn, dude! He got you in the end for skipping class?” Leon whispered as he passed by, sitting next to Mondo as if he was the master of stealth and not just making it plain obvious that he wanted to talk while they did it. Kiyotaka only squinted to that. Why, Taka? Why not _save him from dealing it Leon?!_ Betrayal. All of it.

“No, I came here because I love the feeling of staring at an assignment while my bro ignores my existence for the next two hours” Mondo rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping from his mouth “No fucking shit, Sherlock.”

“If you two will _insist_ on talking, at least be productive while doing so!” Kiyotaka complained firmly, as he also got his own assignments to do. Probably not related to detention, probably something the teachers gave for the next week or something.

“Wow, you both are cranky as shit…” Leon pouted, grabbing his pencil to maybe start doing something. Huh, not his first rodeo, apparently “But for real, what happened? He got me after I skipped practice again, but weren’t you sick?”

“… I faked it” the biker said, his face screaming regret as he also took his pen, at least _trying_ to speak more quietly so he wouldn’t disturb Kiyotaka “And now I’m here and it sucks.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling…” despite his detention partner saying that, Mondo still thought he didn’t _._ Not really. In the end, he wasn’t the one with his stomach twisting itself because of guilt from simply lying. _No, that was Mondo._

And so, with time, effort and a scold— eventually Kiyotaka noticed that the redhead was still trying to slack off —, they finally finished the assignment just in time for their detention to end.

“Mondo?” Kiyotaka called just as Mondo was leaving, his face visibly uncomfortable “…please don’t lie about your health to me ever again. I was really worried the entire day. I am glad you are in good shape, but… I would rather not worry like that just for a lie.”

AND BACK TO GUILTY TOWN, MY FRIENDS!

The biker stared for a few seconds, his face almost dripping the immense guilt he felt, until he nodded and left. To his surprise Leon was still there, waiting while chatting with Chihiro. Great. Fine. Whatever.

“Why the fuck are you still here? — Mondo complained.”

“Wow, I wait to hang out with you guys and that’s how you treat me?” Leon faked being offended, or at least for all Mondo cared it might as well have been fake “I’m bored, man, and I’m sure as hell not going to my dorm so soon!”

“To be fair, it is quite early…” Chihiro mused “But I think we still should be going, at least…”

“Indeed, you three should move, it is not appropriate to stand on the way” Kiyotaka pointed out as he wanted to leave, staring at the three of them visibly annoyed. Mondo wanted to look away so badly, and yet he couldn’t, only grimacing as he saw his bro’s expression become visibly disappointed as he finally got to pass by them.

“Did… something happen to him?” Chihiro said, looking a little bit scared at the thought — He seemed really angry…

“Yeah, he was so moody today at detention! Dude couldn’t even take a break and he would jump at you for “slacking” or whatever!” Leon mentioned as they started to walk outside, taking a more isolated path to relax.

“Leon just shut up, you were slacking and it was painfully obvious” Mondo grumbled “And he isn’t angry or moody…more like disappointed at me.”

“What? But why?” now the redhead was visibly confused “Just because you got detention?”

“No, it’s just…” Mondo didn’t really want to show how much it bothered him, and yet there he was, still saying it “I told him I was sick and skipped the entire day, and he spent the entire day worried for nothing because I lied and he figured it out.”

“Oh… that sucks, but still… why are you that bothered by it?”

What?

Mondo stared at Leon for a few seconds, absolutely confused. What was _not_ to be bothered at?

“How the FUCK could I not be?! He looks at me like I kicked his dad or something!”

“Yeah, but he kinda gives me the same look every time I get late or skip practice…” Leon frowned “Ok, not the same, he looks like it is even more personal for you, but… he for some reason cares about it and it sure as hell doesn’t make me feel like I killed someone! Like… it feels bad, but… not that bad?”

“Taka does get really upset when you avoid your duties…” Chihiro mentioned, now a little bit calmer “But I think what Leon means is, you get even more worked up about it than most people… does he demands more of you?”

“Not really, I guess?” Mondo was getting nervous now, and whenever that happened, he got loud. And that wasn’t an option anymore! He didn’t want to scare Chihiro anymore… (he didn’t care that much about Leon though) “Look, it’s just… it gets me more ‘cause I’m his _bro_ , you know? I don’t wanna disappoint him.”

“I see…” the blonde seemed to understand, or at least get satisfied enough with that answer…

But that wasn’t Leon’s case.

“Ok, buddy, think of it like this instead and you will actually get my point” Leon said, now looking oddly serious about it. It did not match his face at all “Remember when you laughed the shit outta me because Sayaka said I was too lazy and irresponsible for not working hard?”

“Pff- yeah, I do, I still laugh at that” Mondo was in fact smiling like the little shit he was about it, even laughing as he saw Leon grimace about it “She didn’t lie, dude. That’s for sure.”

“Anyway!” now Leon was visibly annoyed and Chihiro looked confused “My point is… I got mad about it and it made me feel like trash. Kind of like you! But here’s the catch… we all know I got a crush on her and that’s why it bothered me. I wanted to be nice and impress her. You are getting that bothered… because of _Kiyotaka.”_

“Yeah, so what?” Mondo sure as hell wasn’t getting it.

“Mondo, I have family that get disappointed on me” Leon deadpanned, almost _done_ with that bullshit “I have close friends that get disappointed on me. And it’s not the same as feeling like crap because the girl I like is disappointed on me!”

“But Taka is a _bro_ , dude! How could I not feel like trash after disappointing my bro and making him worry all day for nothing?!” Mondo couldn’t avoid raising his voice, as he got even more confused and irritated with that line of thought. Was Leon trying to imply something?!

“I’m just trying to point that you’re blowing this way more than necessary! Taka will probably get over it soon!” Leon defended himself, visibly scared “I get it, you feel bad! I’m just saying, isn’t there any other reason why you feel that guilty about it?”

“You trying to imply something, you little shit? Something bad about my bro, huh?!” the biker was almost growling, his face getting red from pure rage.

“Mondo!” Chihiro almost screamed, desperate as they grabbed Mondo’s jacket to get his attention “Leon isn’t trying to imply something bad! It’s not like that!”

“Chi? But then… what is it?!”

To that, Leon and Chihiro could only look at each other, both thinking the same way but unsure of how to say it.

“It’s just…” Chihiro started, still nervous but trying to put it in nice words at least “Sometimes it feels like you like Taka like something that isn’t like a _bro_ , or a friend… a romantic sort of like! We could be wrong, but…”

“Hold on a sec, what?!” Mondo gaped, feeling his mind tear itself apart at the mere suggestion of such a thing. It was so wrong! He could _feel_ his veins almost exploding with the audacity of those little shits trying to imply such a thing- “YOU TWO THINK I GOT THE HOTS FOR-” Mondo had to breathe in deep to avoid shouting such a thing. It was absurd. It was BULLSHIT, but he wasn’t going to consciously shout that to the whole world! “You two are wrong, that’s _not_ how it is. I’m not into guys. At all. GOT IT?!”

“I mean, you say that- OWW!” Leon cried in pain after Chihiro stepped on his foot, pouting “Sure, sure, we got it, man…”

“It’s ok, Mondo! We were just wondering! And if it was the case, it would be alright, just like how it is alright that it isn’t!” the tiny programmer smiled, trying to give their friend some reassurance despite still being very anxious about pulling up that front. It seemed to work, as Mondo didn’t look like he was going to explode anymore! “It’s all good!”

“ **Good.** ” Mondo put his hands inside his pockets, still annoyed at the suggestion itself… and now the three of them were just standing there, awkward, no talking and only staring at the ground, as if the mood died to never come back.

“Do you guys want to… grab some food or something?” Leon said, uncertain.

“Oh, sure, but first I really wanted to exercise…” Chihiro looked at Mondo, their eyes shining with expectation…

“… fuck it, fine. Let’s hit the gym and eat later.”

\--//--

As they were eating, something light so to not ruin their workout — despite how much Leon seemed to want to destroy all his hard work with junk food, dude still went with just a sandwich at the end —, Mondo couldn’t help but ask.

“Why did you guys think I have the hots for him?”

Leon and Chihiro looked at each other again. They blinked so in sync that it would be funny as shit if Mondo wasn’t still curious and annoyed about it.

“Ok, I will be the blunt one so please don’t punch me” Leon pleaded “Alright, you already know how it’s weird that you worry extra than anyone else about how Taka gets when we don’t finish our stuff in time. And you’re always around him. And on top of that, you guys started your friendship all out of damn nowhere, and only Makoto knows what happened and he never says anything about it. And you guys got _really close_ real fast.”

“So what? That’s just friendly shit, nothing to freak out about” Mondo _at least_ didn’t look like he was going to punch the redhead.

“Dude, I’m pretty damn sure you are always staring at him on like, almost all pictures we have in the class album.”

What.

“Leon, why?!” Chihiro almost screamed, their face distressed “Out of all things you could mention, why that?!”

“What?! Everyone can see that! It’s literally on camera! On album!” Leon said, absolutely exasperated with the mere idea that it was supposed to be a secret “It’s a miracle Kiyotaka himself didn’t notice that yet, man!”

“Still, you could have been more sensitive about it instead of being so blunt of making it seem such a big deal!”

“I… listen” Mondo buried his face on his own hand, exhausted “Maybe I stare at him sometimes and it shows on pictures. So what? That means _nothing._ I’m staring at my bro because he is my bro and of course I like him, but that’s all. If that’s the only reason you guys have to think I’m into him… y’all are wrong as fuck. Got it?”

“We understand, Mondo” Chihiro nodded as they saw how much it bothered the biker. It wasn’t their intention to make him feel bad about it… “I’m sorry if we made you uncomfortable… there is nothing wrong with your brotherhood with Taka! We only struggled to understand it… and if it ever changes, there will be nothing wrong with it either! And if it never changes it’s good too!”

“Yeah, sorry, man” Leon said, actually looking regretful for once “I got too carried with that…”

“Tch, as if it actually bothered me” despite such words, it was obvious to the entire world how much it did “I was just curious to why you all thought that, but you’re all wrong so it doesn’t matter anymore!”

…right.

Because Mondo Owada was many things, but he wasn’t interested in Kiyotaka Ishimaru in a romantic way. He simply wasn’t! Sure, his bro was amazing and cool in a dorky way, but Mondo wasn’t interested in a guy! Let alone his bro!

And anyone that said otherwise was wrong, unlike Mondo who was sure of his feelings!

… _right?_

**Author's Note:**

> RIGHT?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!??!?!11? :p  
> Comments and kudos are very appreciated! Yall can find me on tumblr (tammiesheep or house-of-tales, but I'm most likely to answer on the first one) to talk about it if you want to. Or anything danganronpers related.


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